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Eye of the Moon Newsletter
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Author-shaman Maria Mar shares with you insights into the second Female Power Alchemy of The Bewomaning Experience!®. Bewomaning is the process of awakening your Female Face of Power for your own fulfillment and balance, so that you can be there for others without neglecting yourself. It is also the process by which you as a woman can bring balance to our world. Find out why Mothering yourself is the key to your Bewomaning, and get some Self-mothering ideas that you can implement during the summer. Read more
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When Maria and Corazon come back, they will continue their work on their first two product lines for their Creative Collections. Maria is creating the Soul Sarongs Products for the Bewomaning Collection. Corazon is creating the CuerpoGrafías products (Spanish) for her Spanish-language collection, CuerpoAdentro. These internet services and Eproducts will be available in Fall 2006, starting with the Grand Opening of ShamansDance Shop. This section offers a brief notice on ShamansDance's re-scheduled activities and new schedules, as well as letting you know what' we're up to! Read more.
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“What is the one thing you can’t forgive your mother for?” A woman asked during a women writers’ gathering I once attended. I will never forget the answer.
There were women in their 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s around the table. We debated the question for a long time. Every time a woman came up with an idea, she quickly abandoned it. As adults, we understood the human limitations and challenges that our mothers had faced as young women.
“The one thing for which I can’t forgive my mother,” a woman finally boomed, “is for not being happy.”
Every woman in the gathering agreed! We were not blaming our mothers for life’s unpredictable misfortunes. What we were having difficulty forgiving was the inheritance of sacrifice and self-renunciation that comes from a lifetime of choices and is passed on from one generation of women to the next. We were referring to happiness or misery as a choice we make in life.
Considering whatever conditions, problems, challenges and limitations our mothers had faced, they had consistently chosen to suffer, to do without. They had consistently placed themselves last. They had forsaken their dreams. This misery-choice made them resentful. It dried their juices, wilted their smile, and embittered the milk of life they fed us. This misery-choice had dropped on to our shoulders a heavy burden to carry. As adult women, we resented this burden. It was a bundle left for us to open, unwrap and disassemble.
We knew that most of our mothers had made their renunciation thinking of us. It was then twice as tragic that this renunciation oppressed us. We would have thrived in our mothers’ happiness!
The Seed of Disempowerment Rather than blaming our mothers, we were expressing a deep emotional wound that women often inherit and pass on. As women, we are trained to place ourselves last. When we look at our mothers, aunts and teachers, for example, we often find that they place themselves last every day, every hour, every minute. As we grow up, this example becomes a belief and a habit deeply ingrained in the fiber of our being. It becomes the enemy of our fulfillment.
Your children, students and clients learn through what you do, NOT through what you say! If you tell them to love themselves, do they see you loving yourself? If you tell them to nurture their body and soul, are you doing the same? If you work hard to help them be happy and achieve their dreams, are you giving yourself permission to be happy and manifest your dreams? If you are not, you are planting a hidden belief in their psyche that they have no right to their own happiness, regardless of what you tell them.
Because of our Domestication as women, we mother our children to abuse us, take us for granted and devalue what we give them. We go around picking their toys, nagging them about what they have not done or what we have to do for them, and making their lives and ours miserable. We spoil our boys, who become men who do not value their wives and act as spoiled boys in the domestic arena. We spoil our partners, who may value their work more than ours or may feel that domestic work diminishes them.
In our Domestication as women, many of us have learned to assume responsibility for others, to carry their weight on our psychic shoulders. This is really enabling. It creates oppressive relationships, selfish children and a sexist society. It is not love, and it does not empower those we love.
The Frog-kissing Spell Women use a lot of their time to pick up after others, and have no time left for themselves. They pass on their invisibility and self-sacrifice to the future generations of women. Today, we have women who are executives, business owners, professionals, who work as police people, judges, doctors and pilots. Yet many of these same women are living Cinderellas, slaving away after their family. They are Sleeping Beauties, waiting for their men to change so that they can have a life. They are Frog-kissing princesses, getting warts in their lips as they use their Female Powers to invest men with the powers that are truly theirs.
Where do these frog-men come from? When the male children of these "selfless" women enter the world and see the competitive world of men, they dissociate from their Female Shield in order to become independent and powerful. The model they have absorbed of the Female Shield does not enable them to achieve the Marriage of Power, the integration of their Female Shield and Male Shield that leads to inner balance and personal integration. By rejecting their femaleness, these men alienate themselves from women, and will be miserable in their relationships with women, girls and children. They, too, are wounded by their mother’s enabling.
The Sacred Self Knowing this, you need to find new ways of taking care of those you love. You need to understand that what you receive is the source of what you give. Therefore, you must, like the passenger in the airplane, place your own oxygen mask first before you attempt to save others.
When you understand that we are all one, then you experience that love for your loved ones and for the world is not the opposite extreme of self-love, but the impulse to care for your expanded self present in all creation.
"I am All That Is" is an ancestral answer to the human inquiry on God. Across religions and cultures, the experience of God is often described as Oneness. Oneness has four components.
Without one of these components, there is no Oneness. Therefore, when you neglect yourself, you are neglecting others, the world and even God! The understanding that you are a particle in the energy pattern of God, an expression of divine or universal consciousness leads to your experience of your Sacred Self.
This Sacred Self is a cell in the cosmic organism. Therefore, in order to preserve and heal the cosmic organism, this cell must preserve, strengthen and heal itself. This is your first purpose in life, to become the best of who you are. By fulfilling your own promise, you bring forth healing in others and in the world, because you are a part of that world.
If you allow yourself to decay or weaken, you are only weakening others. Believing that you are loving, caring or helping is only an illusion. That is why others may react defensively to your good intentions.
The Shadow Inheritance and the Ancestors' Gift If you go on in automatic, giving and mothering without any reflection, you may be following a dysfunctional giving, loving and mothering style. You may be transmitting to your children and those under your care the same emotional wounds you suffered. Is that what you want to give? Is that the way you want to love? If it is not, it benefits you to stop and take time to heal your Mothering Ways. That can only be done by Self-mothering.
Most women inherit their Mothering Ways from their mothers, grandmothers or elder women, such as aunts or mentors. The problem is that we often inherit the bad with the good. Perhaps your mother was very devoted, but she made you invisible because she made herself invisible. Since you as a girl were part of her female culture, she passed on that wound to you.
If you don't take time to Self-mother, you may one day realize that it is not you mothering your children or students, but your mother! You may be making your girls invisible, too, without realizing it. You may be repeating what you learned, out of Habit-choice instead of Free-choice.
“I’m not doing that!” you may say self-assuredly. “I’m doing the opposite!”
Life is a trickster, and sometimes when you run only south as fast as you can, you may find yourself north, exactly in the place you were running from. Even when you try to do the opposite of what was done to you, you may wind up doing the same damage you suffered because you have not healed it in you.
Women who were neglected or abused, or who had to mother their own mothers often say to me "There is no mother!" They mean that there is no mother inside them because they never had a mothering force around them.
Oh, but they do have a mother! And yes, they did have mothering forces around them! As girls these women simply did not learn to recognize them. But they can go back and reclaim those mothering forces, for their power is still pulsating inside every woman.
There are often models of mothering in a woman's environment. This may not be the mother, but an aunt, a teacher or a mentor. I had a neighbor who was a writer and actress, like me. She had six children, and yet she found time to write and to keep acting. She was a happy woman who smiled a lot and laughed whole-heartedly. She enjoyed talking with the children, encouraging their creativity. She often listened attentively to my poems, when I would not have read them to my own mother for fear of a negative response or emotional self-appropriation. This neighbor, Doña Flavia Lugo de Marichal, modeled a joyful mother for me, even though I did not spend so much time with her as I did with my mother.
My mother, who loved poetry and had a passion and talent for theatre, had been snatched from her dreams by family prohibition, which she accepted self-sacrificingly. As a result, she could not be there for my own creativity, though she really tried. Her resentment, envy or inexperience would lash out and hurt my incipient muse. A woman cannot give to others what she denies herself.
Even when these human mothering models are not present in a woman's life, I teach women to find the powerful mothering forces all around them. A woman whose mother was so passive that she was as good as absent found that she had always been mothered by Mother Mountain. Another woman whose mother was attached to suffering, found in Ochún, the Orishá or divinity of the Sweet Waters, the Goddess of joy, sexuality and love, a mothering force. A woman who was trapped in a polarity between compulsive doing for others and passivity towards herself, found in Mother Tree a presence who taught her to heal that polarity by dancing in stillness, attracting everything she needed and recycling it in her gifts to the world.
Mothering is all around you. Earth Mother is your Elemental Mother, in all her thousand faces.
Another way of Self-mothering is reclaiming your Ancestors' Gift. While your mother or family may have passed on False Beliefs and self-sabotaging habits, they are likely to have also passed on character strengths, talents and joyful experiences. This positive, creative legacy is what I call the Ancestors' Gift. To unbury this gift by reclaiming your creative talents, your joyful memories and your strong points is a Mothering Way that will bless your life. It will also have a positive impact your children and those under your care.
Do you want to pass on the Ancestors Gifts, the blessings you inherited, or do you want to pass on the Shadow Inheritance, the emotional wounds and False Beliefs you inherited? If you answer no to the later question and yes to the former question, then there is one Female Power Alchemy you must begin right now...
...Mother, Mother yourself!
Self-Mothering Tasks Task 1: Make a list of 10 people or groups of people whom you give care to, mother, support or nurture. Here’s an example.
Task 2: Make a list of 15 ways in which you mother or support these people or groups. Here’s an example:
Task 3: Make a list of how you could mother yourself using those same gifts you give others during the week. Make sure that the things you choose are simple and doable.
Editor's Note: This article is an excerpt from Kiss Yourself Awake for Mothers and Caretakers, Ebook2 of the Ebook Series Kiss Yourself Awake! The series was created by Maria Mar for the Bewomaning Ecourses and webcourses. For more information, visit the Soul Sarongs Fall 2006 products and The Bewomaning Collection. The MamaQueSana audio album is part of Ebook 2. You can enjoy a FREE self-mothering experience now with the Gift Edition brought to you by the The Bewomaning Collection.
Pick up your Gift from MamaQueSana NOW!
The End
This story is copyright of Maria Mar .©
Marcela Landrés
Marcela Landrés Editorial Consultant Helping writers get published.
Eye of the Moon interviews Marcela Landrés
EOM: What gifts did your mother or Ancestors passed on to you that have been instrumental in your own development? I’m very aware of my ancestors. Every New Moon and Full Moon I do a spell, and I always begin the ritual by inviting my angels and my ancestors to join me and by thanking them for their support. I believe the Universe sends messages of warning and opportunity to all of us, and often our ancestors are the vehicles through which these messages are conveyed. Whenever I am in need of guidance, I ask for a sign, and invariably one will appear, usually through the words of a manuscript I am editing or a book I am reading.
EOM: What emotional wounds, social challenges or family karma did you face as you grew up, and how did/do you mother yourself to transcend or transmute those limitations? My world was very circumscribed as a child. My parents are old school Latinos who strongly believed girls should be seen and not heard. I understand now that their intention was to protect me and my siblings, but at the time the way I chose to cope was to become silent and invisible, as that was the safest course. It got to the point that my grade school teachers would express concern to my parents because I never spoke in school. After I left home, it took many years before I found my voice, which I did by immersing myself in school and then my career as an editor.
EOM: How do you help women to mother themselves and what three things do you advise women to consider or do in order to mother themselves and their dreams? Through my web site, http://www.marcelalandres.com/ my workshops, and my newsletter http://groups.yahoo.com/group/marcelalandres/ I help writers, many of whom are women, to get published. So in a way I help other women find their voice. The three things I offer as advice would be: 1. When you are in a position to help someone, it is your honor and your obligation to do so. 2. Knowledge is power, but only when shared, so empower others by sharing your knowledge. 3. The true path to success is this: help as many people as often as possible. Visit Marcela's website at: http://www.marcelalandres.com/ Join Marcela's newsletter at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/marcelalandres/
Macela Landres was nominated by: Maria Mar Maria Mar on Marcela Landrés "Marcela Landrés nurtures courage and strategy in women. She worked with a powerful publishing house, yet she had the courage to become an independent consultant. She took advantage of her experience and contacts to create new spaces for Latina writers. Courage and strategy are traits typically associated with warriors and men. But women as mothers and leaders show exceptional courage and strategy to help their families and community. Marcela models these Female Powers for me."
Next:
What are Maria and Corazon
up to?
Of Things
to Come...
This is a photo of things to come. Maria created this collage with two different photos, as an Attraction Shield to manifest our upcoming trip.
Maria and Corazon in Granada Eye of the Moon will be taking a Summer hiatus while its creators, Maria Mar and Corazon Tierra travel to Granada, Spain. There, the two author-shamans will spend some well-earned vacation time with Corazon Tierra's friends. For those who don't know, Corazon Tierra lives partially in Spain, the land she loves and her Power Place.
Maria Mar used her artistic and shamanic abilities to create this photo collage, placing herself and Corazon in the Alhambra.
"We only had several weeks free for our vacations, and we were waiting for a large sum of money from a contract. It seemed almost impossible that the delayed checks would come within the tight time frame we had for vacation, but we really needed to rest and to write" reveals Maria. "One of my powerful alchemical tools is my art, so I created this photo as an Attraction Shield, to attract the right circumstances and money for the trip. Corazon also used her powerful alchemical chanting and speaking formula. It worked! The checks poured one after the other. Some even came earlier than expected!"
When you read this, Maria and Corazon are probably on their way to Granada. God willing, they'll have a photo of the two of them really at the Alhambra to show when they come back. This is one small example of how art can be used to manifest your dreams. That's what Maria and Corazon share with you in all ShamansDance's books, events and products.
While in Granada, Maria and Corazon plan to take time to write on their novels. Maria will be writing on her novel, Ana Danza & the Soul Sarongs. Corazon will continue writing on the novel Casi Desaparecida: Retorno al Territorio de mi cuerpo (Almost Dissappearing, Reclaiming the Territory of my Body).
Two new lines of products for your fulfillment! When Maria and Corazon come back, they will continue their production of the first two product lines for their Creative Collections.
Maria Mar is creating the Soul Sarongs products for the Bewomaning Collection. The Soul Sarongs products are designed to help you journey through your Female Soul, opening a space and a time for yourself in your own life. This is the first Female Power Alchemy for your Bewomaning!
For the Fall 2006 Soul Sarong Products, Maria will offer an ebook, the Soul Sarongs Premium Interactive E-kit, two teleservices, an Ecourse and a webcourse and much more!
Maria Mar is designing The Bewomaning Experience!® to support you year-round. You can become a Bewomaning Diva, spreading the power of Bewomaning to your community while obtaining free training and product discounts! Stay in touch.
Pre-register now, at no cost or obligation and obtain 15% discount on all Soul Sarongs products you buy during Fall 2006. It takes only two minutes!
Latinas! Don't miss our products in Spanish!
Corazon Tierra is creating the CuerpoGrafías products (Spanish) for her Spanish-language collection, CuerpoAdentro.
CuerpoGrafías is designed to help you reclaim your body from the Shadow voices that shame it.
This product line will be featured by the Beloved BodySoul Collection, in English, for Spring 2007 under the name BodyTrails.
Pre-register now and obtain 15% discount on all Spanish language CuerpoGrafías products you buy during Fall 2006.
ShamansDance Shop opens in Fall 2006. These internet services and Eproducts will be available for Fall 2006, starting with the Grand Opening of ShamansDance Shop. ShamansDance has moved the opening of the shop from Spring to Fall 2006. We have also prolonged the pre-registration term. We will be contacting you when we come back so that you can pre-register and obtain 15% discount on all the new internet and eproducts.
"One of the things that we have done to self-mother ourselves is to create a new intent: to give ourselves ample time to enjoy every creation, without rush or stress," affirms Corazon Tierra.
"Like Marcela says in her interview, giving and sharing are paths to success," agrees Maria Mar. "But women are taught to give at their own expense. They are taught to place themselves always last. The Bewomaning Experience!® offers women an essential Female Wisdom. Giving and receiving are one, and you can only give to others what you give to yourself first."
"By giving ourselves this extra time, we have been able to create soulful stories, rich ebooks and useful eproducts that provide you with proven tools and insight to develop intimacy with your own Female Soul," continues Maria Mar. "You will feel the soul we've breathed into each product. We walk our talk so that you can walk yours."
In this section, you are seeing a glance of some of the services and products these two artists and authors are creating.
Bad News were Never so Good! The bad news is that the next issue of Eye of the Moon will be in Fall 2006.
The good news is that at that time we will have our Egreetings with a Cause and its gifts ready for you, as well as our new products, for your empowerment and enjoyment.
The bad news is that our Egreetings with a Cause and the free products that go along with them has been a complex project that has taken more time than we wanted, but they are so powerful that you won't mind the waiting.
Meanwhile, Eye of the Moon is offering you ADDITIONAL free gifts, like the Valentine gift in the February Egreeting, and the MamaQueSana Mother's Day Gift in this issue. Don't you wish all bad news were this good?
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ShamansDance uncovers the alchemical power of art to transmute your pain into power. We fuse the power of stories, personal growth tools and the arts to help you fly into your dream! Enjoy our Creative Collections, where we integrate art performances, interactive events, workshops, books and products to enrich the lives of women, families, youth and children. READ MORE.
That is all, beautiful friends.
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©Maria Mar. You may read or print the feature article for your own use, as long as you keep the author's byline and credits. You cannot reproduce this article for profit, appropriate it or submit it as yours anywhere. Infringement to our copyrights will be prosecuted to the fullest extension of the law. You cannot include this article in your website, newsletter, book or any other format, without previous authorization from the author. You are not authorized to take the feature article out of the context in our newsletter to send it via email or any other means. For quotes, display or printing permission, contact the author at: maria@shamansdance.com. Copyright of this newsletter is owned by ShamansDance. The Art and design here is a copyright of Maria Mar. Photographs are copyright of their owners. No reproduction, copying or appropriation of these graphics is allowed under any circumstance. These graphics are part of our corporate branding. You can copy and paste articles for your use, keeping the bylines and credits. If you want to let a friend know about this newsletter, your best bet is to send her a copy of the newsletter we sent to your email address. If you are not a subscriber, subscribe and you will get the next issue. Copying and pasting from this online newsletter to send through the email will disarrange its design and may render it intelligible. If you want to send this issue, but are not a subscriber, copy the web address of this web version, and send the link to your friends in an email. http://www.shamansdance.com/archive-newsletter-EOM-may2006.htm Under no circumstance can you appropriate, distribute or copy any of this material without appropriate accreditation to its creators. For quotes or copyright, contact us at: info@shamansdance.com.
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